Once, and only once, did I ever let my brain consider the possibility that I might like girls in a way that was different than what was expected of me. I considered this thought, honestly and quietly, knowing that this had the potential to rip my world apart, and then I reminded myself that I barely knew how to survive with the identity I already had. I didn’t know how to be poor, and black, and biracial, AND queer. So I wasn’t. I shut it down. I quieted the voice inside of me, convincing it that this was not a world in which it could survive. I had seen no examples of anyone like me, not in my life, not on tv, not in books, so rather than be the first of my kind, I decided not to exist.
Do you know how traumatizing it is to live your life thinking that you don’t exist?
Jasika Nicole via I Didn’t Know How to Be Poor, Black, Biracial, AND Queer; So I Wasn’t (via autostraddle)
I gave this speech a few weeks ago when receiving the Voice and Action Award from Campus Pride, an honor I am so proud and excited to have received. You can read the full piece on autostraddle at the above link- I am so grateful they wanted to share it with their readers. Hopefully Miss Lawrence’s speech will find it’s way to the internet as well because it was absolutely ELECTRIFYING.
